Why Am I This Person?

At school i was allways the freak, i had people i hung out with, but only if i take care of their stuff, buy them stuff, give them money for food, or let them tease me, boys never liked me, i was always the ugly chick, and then when a guy did, they start to hate me afterwards. After i school i thought my life would get better but it got worst.

I get made fun off online, i get death treats, Fake boyfriends and worst, i fall in love with boys who are never gonna like me, i thought a small boob girl, would get a guy, and i did, but knowing he was a boob guy, his never gonna change, im never gonna find a guy who was never a boob man and never will be, but that will still take time and worst probably never.

Don't know why i always feel this way, even my whole family hates me, because of UNKNOWN reasons.

i just want to lie under my bed and never come out :(

hoping my job will be at least good.